One useful application of Relational Energy Therapy is to review and ultimately upgrade the effectiveness of your emotional energy body, especially in the area of the relational dynamics with others. By knowing the habitual problems you may encounter in relationships, and by adjusting some of your strategies for emotional balance and expression, you can increase your relationship satisfaction, and move your life into healthier relationships with others.
Once we have a more functional emotional energy body we can truly become more authentic with ourselves, and design our adult lives around those elements and values that resonate with our soul, with the deep aspects of our individuated spiritual nature. Then we can lead a life that truly enhances our soul development, rather than one that is struggling with wounds from the past, or demands from family karmic patterns.
Human emotional development takes a minimum of the first three decades of life in order for us to build an emotional body. By the early thirties, however, most of us have already made social commitments and engaged in long-term relationships that may well unknowingly support challenged areas in our personal growth rather than help us grow further in our emotional body development. Every human being deserves the chance to look at themselves and their emotional development critically, with the support of another, with the view towards assessing where they are in their emotional growth, and begin repairing, or upgrading, their challenged areas.
Let’s start with the basics of emotional body development.
1. Emotional Safety
Unless we have a deeply rooted sense of safety in our physical body we are unlikely to choose a life style or relationships that are nourishing and supportive of us. A lack of emotional safety is usually manifested in states of fear and its twin sister, anxiety. Anxiety states undercut further development, and constrict the person’s soul growth.
Symptoms of this basic human need – emotional safety – include difficulty in creating a stable home, physical body weakness or difficulty in grounding, and challenges with long-term goals or relationships in general. This issue is related to the full functional ability of the First Chakra, which acts as the base of the pyramid in emotional development.
2. The ability to connect emotionally with others, and to feel our own inner depth
The umbilical cord is our first connection to others, with the relational connection with our mother. Similarly, we extend energetic chakra cords from the second chakra, and our emotional body uses these connections to both grow and to develop into an individuated emotional self. First we connect (or attempt to connect) with others, experience an emotional reaction (pleasurable, or unpleasant), and then begin to process that connection within our individuating emotional body. Where there are attachment difficulties (non-mutual or even hostile responses to our attempts to connect) we may form compensatory habits that become established in our adult emotional life, and which often lead to recurring disappointments in our relationships.
For instance, if our early experiences of being attached to the mother is one of ambivalence, where the infant self does not feel wanted or valued by the mother or father, the emotional development can become stuck in a relational development looping, always searching for validation from others, while protecting the inner emotional core of the self from discomfort. Or, the infant may have experienced being forced to follow the demands of the mother (or other parental figure), and learned not to pay careful attention to their own inner emotional reality. Both these examples illustrate damage to the functioning of a healthy second chakra, and its relational cording system.
3. Building a healthy and accurate map of the inner and outer worlds
As the emotional body settles into a safe and relational/relatable stage of development, the cognitive or mental aspects of our psycho-emotional body can emerge and begin to add tremendous depth and clarity to our lives. Freed from the need for continual self-validation, or to seek constantly for safety, the mental world can begin to build maps of our inner and outer world, and to find our place within it. This is third chakra work, where now we connect and assemble the elementary building blocks of the world, albeit one initially built out of earlier consciousness development in chakras one and two.
The common human challenges of addiction (using a substance to feel safe and happy within our own skin), relational connection (dealing with both pleasant and unpleasant emotional interactions with others), and finding meaning for ourselves within a complex and often chaotic reality, are rooted in the first three chakras: physical safety, emotional validation/awareness of our inner flows, and the perception of meaning in both our inner and outer realities.
While the other chakras are important, it is the first three that provide the foundation for both assessing how well we are doing, in becoming human, as well as where we can grow further in order to overcome earlier deficits or challenges in our early life. Whatever system you use to assess yourself – religion, social metrics, psychotherapy, or the field of self-help publications – all three chakra developmental levels will come into play. By breaking these levels into their specialized domains, we can then focus in on areas that need repair work, or additional development, so that each part of our humanity can learn to function well, and effectively.
Supporting the healthy functioning of the chakra consciousness system
As an energy healing practitioner I adhere to the principle that we are all energetically wired for healthy functioning, and that with the right support and environmental conditions, past challenges in these three chakras and the domains they represent, can mostly be overcome or at least changed radically. The caveat here is that the earlier the development stage, the more difficult it is to repair, although modifications can be applied to ease suffering considerably.
Chakra healing work, and chakra cord work in particular, aim mostly to energize and support healthy function, and reduce the impact of earlier challenges to their development. This, for me, is the true application of psychic or energetic healing: to therapeutically address the healthy function of our emotional growth, while revealing to the client the impact of early life experiences that have interfered with that natural development. Once the first three chakras are cleared of serious habitual emotional blocks, and the individual experiences and perceives that they do have better options, they will inevitably be drawn towards making better choices for themselves.
It is this act of personal power, of making the right choice for yourself, and of believing in your own potential for becoming more, that leads us towards the fourth chakra, and beyond. Unless we can assess ourselves, and others, and then build towards a better world for all, we will remain locked in our early life patterns. We will not spiritually evolve, because our emotional body is still trying to form itself, and deal with others who share the world with us.
The first part of our lives is dedicated to building a functional emotional body. The second part is learning to use relational energies to create an evolved emotional energy field, which we can refer to as the astral body: individuated emotional reality that is learning to co-create reality alongside the creations of others. The progression is from personal healing towards astral body development, but this inevitably is a spiral journey and not a linear progression. In fact, our personal healing is always the doorway into our astral or conscious energy body development and progression.
A major impediment to developing the astral body is difficulty in tolerating discomfort and suffering, emotional reactions to whenever we stretch ourselves beyond our normal and habitual states of being. If we are unable to tolerate emotional and physical body challenges, to push ourselves into new and self-created experiences, we will remain locked within the self-maintained confines of the pre-personal and infant emotional body reality. To grow and evolve we must be willing to go where we don’t want to go, and where we have to reach beyond our comfort zone, rather than stay safely within what we know.
For a more detailed breakdown of chakra development and healing work, and to explore personal sessions with Dean, please see these links:
You can book a Big Three Mini-Series with Dean Ramsden, which focuses on the first three chakras, or you can opt for the in-depth Six Session Series, which include all the main chakras, with the optional addition of the Guru Chakra in Session Seven. Here is a helpful post on how to work with Dean.
(c) 2017 by Dean Ramsden. All rights reserved.