When we make someone important to our lives, or we have a need that someone is fulfilling, we extend an invisible cord of connection to that person. These connections can be either curious, casual, interested, stabilized, embodied, or invasive, in their connection to and from others. Each of these functions, from casual to deeply personal, result in cords that attach to us differently. For instance, a curious cord can be extended and then withdrawn very quickly: no actual interaction with the other person needs to happen. Think of this connection as psychically “sniffing” the other, curious but not serious in any intention to go further.

The casual cord takes that curiosity one step further, and flirts with the chakra of the other: sometimes going a little deeper, sometimes pulling back. This is “meet-and-greet”, a non-serious connection that still does not result in cord penetration into the chakra head, but is thinking about it, assessing it, and in some cases strategizing about the implications of a deeper connection. Then, if there is an openness to contact, a relationship can become more stabilized, and a friendship or other role is formalized. The other moves from unknown to known, from casual to a defined individual in our perceptual reality. Once stable, the relationship can become a part of our life, perhaps going deeper into personal or intimate territory.

Once we make someone important to us at a personal level, the relationship may become embodied and activate the associated nervous system and hormonal reactions that characterize human relationships. For instance, a single woman can move a casual relationship with a new friend into a stabilized relationship as a potential romantic partner. The former casual cord evolves into a stable connection with the chakras of the other, permitting a deeper contact into the chakra head, as well as enhanced pranic flow to and from the individuals thus connected. The deeper the cord connection, the stronger the pranic flow between us and others, and the stronger the mental and emotional bonding will be. Of course, if we stabilize and embody (i.e.our chemistry is involved) relationships with others that are unhealthy, we will tend to download challenging energies into our auric energy body for eventual integration.

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I’m not suggesting here that we should avoid all unhealthy relationships (a practical impossibility) but rather learn to perceive and deal with the implications of unhealthy (or even toxic) individuals that have been allowed to become meaningful to us at the personal level. This is the core of chakra cord healing: all energetic relationships impact us at some level, but all these events can lead towards enhancing our spiritual adulthood, and adding to our life experience and subsequent personal choices.

Chakra cord work is designed to help clear or transform ourselves of challenging relationships, such that our overall development as spiritual adults progresses, and so that we can then make better choices for ourselves. The deeper the relationships, the deeper the chakra cord enters into the chakra head. But, as in all things, too much of a good thing is not a good thing. If the chakra cord goes in too far, transgresses personal autonomy or our individual freedom of choice, or attempts to emotionally enslave us to the will of the other, that cord becomes toxic and problematic. This is the darker side of chakra cord work, where invasive individuals embody it in a practical way, and unconsciously extend an invasive cord past our healthy limits, deep into the chakra body, or even out of it to wrap around the energetic body of a body organ. This kind of energetic invasion is insidious, as it combines our needs in relationship, our natural desire to connect with others, but turns it against our best interests by overriding our personal freedom. And, in some cases, resulting in negative health for the invaded organs, such as the uterus, ovaries, testes, or prostate. In later posts we will look at invasive cords, and the challenges in working with them.

Healing the compulsive or addictive relationship

Many of us struggle with inappropriate relational cording: any compulsive or addictive relationship that consistently returns us to the same place in our personal lives. We choose to either hold our ground against an attractive, but ultimately dissatisfying person, or to – yet again – allow ourselves to enter into the same kind of relationship: one that we know is against our best interests.

The mechanism for inappropriate relationships can be seen wired into the Etheric body via the chakra cord system, and manifests in how we repetitively seek to connect to another person who is not good for us. As adults we are repeating an earlier (and dysfunctional) solution to an authentic childhood need, originally frustrated due to family circumstances. In our childhood while reaching out to find love and appreciation from our caregivers we may have been met with schizoid absence, borderline fragmentation, or narcissistic exploitation. An awareness of our habitual process, where we discover how we do this, is the first step, and is then followed by the dissolving of challenging relationship contracts.

We then move on to the next step: energetically reclaiming the lost emotional consciousness when hooked into an inappropriate relationship. We can begin to heal the exhausting energy drain – which is how invasive cords manifestly affect the physical system – by initiating a self-care regime to reverse it, as well as deliberately pulling the lost or stolen energy back into our cells. Once we are filled with our life force (as opposed to innocently handing it over to someone in the vain hope of receiving love in return for capitulation) we can move more easily to release them, and to begin preparations for the arrival of a better choice. This waiting period is the trial-by-fire that most children of dysfunctional families fear the most: an empty time, unfilled by the drama and chaos caused by dysfunctional friends and lovers, but it an essential time for clearing away the past.

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Chakra cord energy healing work pulls the energy you habitually give to the other back into yourself, so you can experience a new-found expansion of self. To support the healing process you must break the habit of contact with the other, and make a conscious decision to wait for healthy change to integrate into your energy consciousness system. You use the waiting time to reset your values to those that any healthy individual would expect to have in a relationship. Start working to draw someone into your life who is at the same level of awareness as you, someone who demonstrates a track record of words consistent with their actions, and someone capable of self-reflection and mutuality.

This wait may be lonely at times. But the healing of an inappropriate relationship is worth its weight in gold, because ultimately – just like precious metals – your life force has an intrinsic value, recognized the world over, as opposed to a paper fiat currency or the “promise to pay”. Choose yourself, respect yourself, be loyal to yourself right now. Know your value. Heal your past where – for whatever reason – you could not have made a healthy choice. Consciously release relationships of questionable value, learn to tolerate the inevitable loneliness of the gap, and prepare for the arrival of your new life.

2016 by Dean Ramsden. All rights reserved.

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Dean Ramsden practices and teaches Relational Energy Therapy, which combines chakra and chakra cord energy healing with astral (emotional body) work.